so good, yet so bad

He is the type of guy who will hurt me in few weeks. But the first few weeks would be incredible …hmm maybe. He is egotistical, charming and intelligent. He is tall and slim. He is 6 1/2 years younger than me and yet he finds a way to intimidate me. It’s most likely because I don’t know him well enough and the way he is so quick to judge others without looking at all other spectrum. Either way, few months ago, I decided to just “let it be” and not pursue any further after an incident that made me realize he just isn’t worth the pain.

Except last night I had this dream about him. This forbidden ’sexual tension’ in my dream made me contact him via e-mail today. Casual banter and that’s all. But its the intensity inside me today that’s driving me insane. I just want to kiss him. I want to know. I want to feel the passion, the infatuation, the chemistry, the drunkness…oh yes that!

Oh how I have imagined…yes I did indeed, few times actually. You know what it would be like to kiss him. Once, standing outside our class while I was on the phone, he had decided to come out of class as well (he always seem to…maybe to hear my voice as well?). I wanted him to grab me, throw my phone away, push me against the wall and kiss me deeply while I run my hands through the bob dylan hair of his (except his is sexier & more clean looking). My friend calls him “Adonis”. I don’t know about that but he does indeed have chiselled features.

Anyway, none of that ever really happened except we have gotten into arguments. pah! because lets face it, communication via MSN just sucks.
But the way he handled it was a good “knock in the head” to make me realize….how young he was & other than a quick passionate fuck, it would not go any further.

But hot damn, when did horoscopes decided to become insightful???

Daily Planet Overview
You’ll be afraid of the power of your feelings today with Venus opposite Pluto. Your sexuality will be strong and intense. You may become obsessed with someone and go too far. Keep your emotions in balance, and be realistic.

I got a job with a non-profit. working with immigrant youth. Its the first time I’m not in “charge”. Its a different feeling. I don’t mind it actually. Its nice to actually learn from someone else rather than learn from trial and error, that’s how I always did my job.

Its 2.5 days times a week and I make pretty good money. 4 day weekend? Hello? Dream come true, anyone?

So far I like the ‘team’. Its only 4.5 of us. All women, should be darn interesting. One is a lesbian and one is married to a South Asian – same country I’m from.

I’m just glad I didn’t have to lie to get this job, i.e. lie about not going back to school this September. I hate lying so its good that I can actually work and go to school full time.

Lets hope this stays as good as it seems.